Could Marriage Get Any Worse?

What Really Is Marriage About? Part 1:      Have you ever wondered why marriage may seem too difficult?... Me too. Many people believe marriage is a Fairy tale, a package of wonders ...Guess again. I've heard too many people say that their partners are made for them because they changed them in certain ways and they carry on that ideology that, "if I have him or her by my side, then I'm certain to do the things I never imagined I could do. How right and wrong we could be to think so.

     Let me give you a run down of my experience or should I say.... My parent's. I grew up knowing my both parents, a father that I'd like to call "Hitler" and a mum I would call "Margret Thatcher". You might ask why I used such description for them... It's simple! If you grew up with me, you'd totally understand, but to break it down, my parents are strict disciplinarians. Growing up though, I thought they were being mean & unnecessarily stringent. I didn't understand it was for my own good.

Living with my parents was hell and fun at once. They were the perfect blend of parents but the worst combo for a couple. Playing their husbandly & wifely roles was like playing chess with a monkey, it just didn't make sense!! Sometimes, I'd wonder to myself, how they even got stuck together & your probably wondering if I asked.... Yeah sure, why not!! The reasons, though sometimes felt like no reason at all, were really romantic. When I asked mum, she explained how my dad wooed her, bought her things and was actually craving her attention. Of course, dad is an expert in that area no doubt, but then I popped the question and asked what she really saw in him. Truth be told, she acknowledged she really couldn't say for sure, apart from he being an intelligent man. I could see why, I mean, my dad was from a poor background just like my mom (even more reason she shouldn't have considered him, right?) but she said she saw a man who would be great, someone who had a bright future. She wasn't wrong in her perception but unlike most people who would give you a thousand reasons why they love someone, my mom didn't.

She eventually explained that she didn't date... Of course! You see, growing up in the hinther land and in the time of the 80's & 90's, one would expect nothing less. Her husband was her first love, so technically, she didn't make mistakes prior to her marriage to be able to ascertain what she wanted in a man. Whatever she saw was good enough for her and she went along with it. She concluded that he would be a caring, loving, probably romantic husband, who was intelligent & decent. Now, you may ask, "did they at least court?" well, not exactly, because back then, culture prohibited much of that, though they had little "atete atete" talks, where my dad did reveal to her that he had a promiscuous past at the time. I guess my mom didn't take that part seriously .......

Part 2 coming next...

Watch out for why marriage is most not what you asked for and if you might be the cause.